April Daniels, I cannot BELIEVE your Suboxone doctor told you the only way you could stay in the program was to remain in it for 18 months to a year! Here, you are trying to limit yourself and take it for a shorter time and they are literally forcing you to become more addicted and more STUCK on their treatment.
Thank you so so much for sharing your story. It is such a POWERFUL one, especially in today’s culture as so many Americans fell into the FDA’s trap of opioid addiction, only to now fall into the MAT trap.
You are a true warrior goddess. I appreciate your bravery and not holding back letting your deepest vulnerabilities and raw emotions show, for all this world to see. I pray that others will read this and perhaps not fall into the trap of medication assisted treatment (MAT).
Because honestly the only way, I would support it (MAT) is if Kratom doesn’t agree with their chemistry or they are ignorant to it even being an option. Even though suboxone is a partial agonist, the same as Kratom, I don’t fully support it, nor do I think it’s fair to even compare it to our plant because so many people are stuck in a suboxone nightmare. Kratom doesn’t produce a nightmare of addiction like suboxone and methadone.
I think you are so incredibly strong for being able to kick suboxone and try Kratom. You also sought therapy and speak highly of it and this makes me ecstatic to no end, because more people need to hear the benefits of therapy. People need to stop viewing it as a shameful thing or something that is looked down upon. Mental health is a good thing. Big Love and Hugs To You ~ 💕Kami Ann🍃
“And just as the Phoenix rose from the ashes, she too will rise. Returning from the flames, clothed in nothing but her strength, more beautiful than ever before.” — Shannen Heartzs
“Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise.” — Maya Angelou
“I no longer feared the darkness once I knew the phoenix in me would rise from the ashes.” — William C. Hannan
Here Is The Amazing Story Of April Daniels ~
‘I want to start with saying when I was growing up I didn’t have drug problems. I may have smoked a joint with my boyfriend or maybe we shared a bottle of Boone’s Farm on the weekend. That was the extent of my party days. I married my high-school sweetheart and had two daughters. The second one was born when I was 25 years old. This is where my story starts, as she was born two months early via C-section. At the same time, my husband had broken his foot, was in a cast, and was immobile at the time. I was 2 hours away, in a special Nic unit Hospital, after having a C-section. I had never had anything like that before. I did have my appendix taken out and they gave me pain medicine. When I came home my husband asked me for one because after the initial break of his foot, they didn’t give him any pain meds.. only like two weeks worth and then started cutting him off. With my c-section, I had 3 month’s worth of refills on my pain meds, so we would use them and the ball started rolling after that. We started buying them anywhere, then got more dependent.. and along with that a higher tolerance, which led to more potent pain meds.’
‘Meanwhile my marriage is going down the tubes with my kids watching. We would collect scrap metal, sell everything. We had pawned our children’s toys and had pawned all my jewelry, all of his guns to feed our habit.’
‘My sister started on Suboxone. After a worse couple years, my sister came home and introduced me to it. At first, it was a lifesaver. It helped the pain. I felt good because it made me high. When I started Suboxone, I only started with a quarter of a strip.. not a whole one, not 2 a day. I felt good. My mind seemed to be a little clearer feeling. I felt better and didn’t hurt as bad.’
‘I decided my children needed better and that they deserved better then the way we were living, and the way we were raising them. So, I decided to use Suboxone and get clean. I tried to get my husband to do the same, but he didn’t like it. They wanted to put him on it but he wanted the pain meds. Since I wasn’t doing any, he wanted more.’
‘I decided I had enough and I left. Yes, it was rough. I was homeless. There were times I didn’t know when or where I was going to eat. I had a couple of boyfriends that I lived with and it seemed one was as bad as the next. Some of them were crazy. Some of them were drug addicts and I just couldn’t deal with that, so I moved back in with my parents after about three years. I stayed there for about 2 years getting on my feet, getting my kids back, getting me back.’
‘I got into a clinic and the clinic also wanted you to have therapy once a month. When I started the Suboxone Clinic, they prescribed me two 8-milligrams strips, which I never took that much. I stayed at half of a strip, so that’s 4 milligrams once a day. I started my therapy. At first, I was like everybody else (all this is bullcrap, how the hell is this supposed to help me)??’
‘I went to the clinic in order to stay in the Suboxone clinic. I went to therapy and I have to say I love my therapist. He is great. I don’t see him anymore, but I did see him for two years. I seen him after I left the Suboxone clinic and started taking Kratom. The Suboxone doctor I had been going to for almost a year, I told her when I started that I only wanted to be there for a year. I knew I could do this. After my sister gave me Suboxone I did it for about a year and then I weaned off of it. I was then clean for awhile. That’s when I had the boyfriend that was a dope addict, which was not a good place for me. I relapsed and that’s when I moved in with my parents and started this Suboxone Clinic.’
‘I told her I would only be there a year and I would wean myself off. They told me ..’No, that’s not the way it works.’ The program is 18 months to 2 years and I had to agree in order to go to the clinic and get my medication. I was one month away from being one year at the doctor and I was out of medication because my oldest daughter has severe scoliosis. My husband started her on pain meds before his death, so I was trying to get my daughter into my clinic and I had given her some of my medication to get her clean from opiates. I was out of meds and I was getting sick so I went to my friend that I have not seen in years and asked her to buy some herb. She helped me out and I explained to her what was going on and how I was sick. She said, ‘Have you ever tried Kratom?’ She got it for her husband years ago when both of our husbands attics together. It helped him quite a bit. I thought, I’ll try anything right now not to puke. She gave me a couple of Ziploc baggies with different color dirt. She showed me how to take it and told me to drink lots of water. So, I waited till the very next morning when I knew it was going to be bad. I used my first dose of Kratom. I had a doctor’s appointment that week and I went not thinking anything about it. I got my drug screen. I got my prescription and I had cut my prescription from 4 mg to 2 …to 1 milligram a day, on my own before my friend introduced me to kratom. So, I was taking 1 mg of Suboxone a day and one dose of Kratom a day separate times. I took Suboxone in the morning and Kratom in the evening’
‘The only person that knew that I was cutting my dose in half and slowly eliminating it, was my therapist. I thought it was a great idea. When I started Kratom, he just wanted me to watch it and not trade one for the other. When my Suboxone doctor found it in my drug screen, she flipped out completely. She said ‘This should not be in your system.’ I said, ‘Okay’. She didn’t tell me why. She couldn’t tell me anything about Kratom. But, I knew it made me not want Suboxone and I felt better. I went to my second drug screening and tested positive for Kratom. She told me you have to choose one or the other. She gave me my prescription and I walked out the door. The very next week, I went in to the doctor and tested positive, once again for Kratom. She told me this was my last prescription and I was kicked out of the clinic. I didn’t have any Suboxone in my system at that time. I had completely quit taking it and was only using Kratom for the last 3 weeks. I didn’t have any withdrawals. I’ve always felt good using Kratom and I truly believe that your addiction is 50/50 mental and physical. That your body is physically dependent, but I think parts of your life and your past, your depression and other things that may be wrong with you (mentally) add to the addiction and the intensification of your addiction. I had a rough life. I was on Wellbutrin and Celexa and something else for depression and anxiety. Things of that nature, after I got off the Suboxone, I noticed my anxiety was about 50 percent. Mind you, before Suboxone.. I was never someone with anxiety but I know my body hurt. My husband was a rough man and I lived a rough life. I worked in a nursing home, which is tough work. When you have to lift people and move them without equipment it’s tough physically and mentally. I think anyone that is going through the addiction process and trying to get better, always always find a good therapist. I still believe that he was a key part in my recovery and he made me realize that I will fight everyday for the rest of my life to stay in recovery.’ ~ April Daniels