My Life Before Kratom ~

I wanted to share with you my life before I found Kratom. I have been through more than most can ever imagine. I’ve been through so much that it’s impossible and just too heavy to share in one particular writing, so if you’re interested please keep an eye out for several different blogs regarding this. 💕

Something that is an absolute must for ME, is that I don’t hide the truth of what happened to me anymore, in order to protect other people. Have you heard the song ‘Praying’ from Keisha? Well, she sings something that is very resonating to me and that’s ‘…And We Both Know All The Truth I Could Tell’. Welp …it’s time for me to stop thinking of how I might upset other people and start putting myself and my heart and mind first. After all, no one cared about mine.

Some people who get mad at this may think, ‘Well, it’s wrong to blast it on Facebook.’ No… the reason why I want to do this publicly is because for my entire life I was lied about and made to look like I was at fault, when it was actually the other way around.

For years, I would go through assault by my family member’s husband, starting at the age of 12. He was like a brother to me. This of course, is a bomb I have dropped. However, I’m tired of the secrecy of sexual assault and abuse being so prevalent, yet hidden and never discussed. That’s all I will say about that for the time being. However, I was made out to look like I was the problem. Of course, like with so many other experiences the majority of surrounding people probably knew better, but chose to ignore it because they were having too much fun and they didn’t want the party to end.

You may ask yourself how does this have anything to do with Kratom? It has everything to do with Kratom because it ties into mental healthcare.. and Kratom has been a successful tool for me in utilizing my process of mental and emotional trauma. Even though I got therapy prior to finding Kratom, I still need to take care of the residual effects such as generalized anxiety in which I struggle with at times, as a result from my trauma. Therefore, Kratom helps me to manage it.

For example, it helps my pain to be manageable, so I can walk and get daily exercise. This is crucial, whenever we have stress or anxiety in our lives. Exercise is the number one treatment that is successful in helping to cope with anxiety, PTSD, and depression. But, if someone also has severe chronic pain and fatigue, then it is hard to go out and exercise. With Kratom, it helps the pain to be more bearable, in turn eliminates or prevents anxiety or stress from developing into something bigger or unmanageable.

I’m happy to say that I know I am finally the person who I was meant to be before multiple traumas occurred. I finally feel healed and not stuck any longer in my brokenness.

It took work and self-growth on my part, but it was so worth it in the end. I knew I didn’t want to live the rest of my life in so much emotional pain and anxiety. For years, I had nightmares and I knew it was from so much underlying abuse and assault I suffered from so many years ago. I wanted to deal with it and be done, when I was young enough to still have a life in front of me. I didn’t want to wake up one day, an old woman.. sad that life had passed me by; and I had given my power and essentially my life over to my perpetrator.

Therefore, I am SO GLAD I took the initiative and was brave and strong enough to seek counseling for everything I had gone through.

Mind you, at the time.. I had just lost my dad and was taking care of my mom. I also had to commit a loved into a mental institution all while never once missing my son’s baseball games. I had gallbladder surgery during that time too. As I write this, I realize I must be stronger than I thought.

I had someone looking out for me for sure, because I was completely by myself at the time. But, then again I guess I wasn’t really by myself.

More to come….

Cardiac Health and my life before Kratom

Thank you Keisha ..for being strong enough for surviving and enduring the HORRIFIC trauma you went through. Your song gives survivors such as myself hope, strength, comfort, and courage to speak our truth and not be afraid to tell it.

One thought on “My Life Before Kratom ~

  1. Someone who has gone through what you have deserves trust, peace, and quiet. You’re moderating a MAT group, and it sounds like some of the people there hold your own trauma against you, as well as claiming you can’t use kratom to deal with it. They are wrong. You can and do use kratom to deal with it. In addition to pain, it helps depression, anxiety, and ptsd, and I don’t understand why that drives some people to cry out against it. You aren’t going onto that same MAT group and telling them not to take xanax, valium, amitriptyline, prozak, etc. But that’s exactly what some people are saying to you. They disregard or don’t understand your trauma, and they think doctors can solve every problem, I used to be one of those same people. Instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt and trusting your word, which they should do, instead they choose to be willfully blind and claim that drugs can fix all. How you deal with that without exploding or leaving the group I don’t know. You want to help people, and they attack you for it? Respect has been earned long ago, but instead of taking your word for it, they choose to wrap themselves in their own denial. You are stronger than they are, and for someone who has endured what you have, and i don’t know the details, does not deserve to be attacked because you choose a plant over doctor prescribed drugs, am I right that’s what most of them object to?

    Liked by 1 person

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