Dear MAT and Kratom Community ~ My Experiences Of Drug Abuse, Child Abuse, and Homelessness. How I Survived Horrific Trauma In My Life ~

People don’t want to be faced with what they once were but if you don’t, how can you heal? Don’t think I don’t understand both sides because I do. I left home and lived on the streets at 16 for almost a year. I know what it’s like to be hungry and not know where my next meal was going to be. I have done crank, coke, acid, pot, whatever (for years in my teens and 20s) ..I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not proud of it either, but I’m healed enough to admit to it and not let it condemn or shame me.

I have been raped. I WAS a victim of sexual abuse. I survived. I have suffered trauma, after trauma for a better portion of my life. I survived. I suffered domestic violence for 8 years in a horrible marriage, while pregnant and disabled all while taking care of my dad at the end of his life and nursing my mother, emotionally and mentally. I still survived and went on to be a psychiatric nurse and also got therapy for my trauma… and I PREVAILED.

I also did this by myself. I healed mostly, on my own, alone. I did have one of the greatest social workers ever who went through a lot of trauma herself and I was able to process my traumas through the education she gave to me, regarding sexual assault and rape.

No one wants to talk about anything. I DO. I hope my boldness will make a change in today’s society, when it comes to addiction, deception, enabling, stigmatizing, and mental health. Because something needs to CHANGE. When I went to counseling, I actually learned that it wasn’t my fault and I learned how the mind works inside of a predator. Knowledge is power and I’m grateful to myself for going on my own and wanting to learn about what actually happened to me. It allowed me to stop blaming myself and stop constantly criticizing myself with a negative self-dialogue. Therefore, I was able to grow immensely afterwards and be the person who I was always meant to be.

My point being that it’s impossible to move forward in life and progress if you constantly deny the truth in which surrounds you. If someone is incapable of doing this, that’s understandable as well because we are all different. HOWEVER, no one has the right to be so selfish to deny others the truth or opportunity to see it.

For example, if you support methadone and suboxone that’s fine but don’t knock a plant that’s 1,000 times less addicting and safer. If you’re uncomfortable with seeing the benefits of Kratom like how it shows on my side-by-side picture as opposed to a woman who is coked and drugged out of her mind, don’t look at it. But, don’t tell me I’m misleading you because you cannot actually READ my explanation of the picture.

I’m a fighter. But, even on the streets I did not have to explain myself so much in order to make someone see the truth about something such as this plant called Kratom. Nor, have I come across so many vial human beings who constantly nit pick or bully each other because they feel Kratom is making THEIR form of recovery look ‘bad’. Stop putting each other down, as a means of making YOURSELF feel better or try to one-up each other.

The article before this, I wrote has been attacked personally all day because of my side-by-side pictures. People get mad because they think I’m putting addicts down as a means of highlighting Kratom.

I’ve never seen or heard so much bs in all my life. We should not have to hide the fact that we as Kratom Consumers don’t look like or ACT like DRUG ADDICTS. Did I STUTTER. People need to stop enabling and protecting others from the truth solely because they’re afraid their feelings will get hurt.

Kratom advocates should not have to hide the fact that Kratom is safer and less addicting than MAT, in order to make this community feel better. We ESPECIALLY shouldn’t have to hide the fact that we don’t look or act like someone who is consuming deadly drugs. Yes, there is stigma in that but we are constantly being stigmatized for being ‘drug addicts’ and we have to defend ourselves and this plant because unlike MAT which is praised, our plant is being demonized by the FDA, DEA, and media.

Also, the results and the behaviors of people who do consume DEADLY DRUGS like cocaine, heroin, and meth ARE BAD/NEGATIVE and deserve to be presented as just that. Being addicted should not be shamed. But, being addicted to deadly substances and as a result harming others should not have to be hidden or sugarcoated to make someone feel better or to protect them. This is why mental health is essential.

How are we going to advocate, educate, and teach people who are stuck in MAT about Kratom if we can’t even show the differences and the actual facts??

Stop putting people down for using a different form of recovery. Stop criticizing someone because you think they need to sugarcoat it. Stop being an enabler. Stop ‘protecting’ people from the truth. I keep hearing that these people are broken so we have to be extra kind. But, the truth isn’t always happy and kind. What are these people being protected from? From the truth? The truth hurts sometimes. But, it is the lie that will hurt much much more in the end when you finally take your head out of the sand and open your eyes, look around, and WAKE UP.

Once I found Kratom, my life turned for the better. Because I was able to gain better control of my pain, I was able to establish a healthier lifestyle and feel joy again, without being weighed down by heavy pain medication which gave me drowsiness most of the time. I’m in full support of opioid medication, however; I don’t want to be a prisoner of it.

5 thoughts on “Dear MAT and Kratom Community ~ My Experiences Of Drug Abuse, Child Abuse, and Homelessness. How I Survived Horrific Trauma In My Life ~

  1. I am very glad I was not in this argument, I’ve had said some very angry, very vile things myself. What exactly is these people’s problem? DO they hate kratom or do they hate that we take it, and by taking it, avoid suboxone and methadone and their trappings? Do they hate that we take a plant for our pain and our addiction instead of going through a doctor, and then a rehab center? Because such people don’t have to take those drugs if they don’t want to. They have a way out, just as we did. But if their problem is to put us down simply because we aren’t like they are, that’s completely wrong, cowardly, and cruel. I don’t see anything wrong with the pictures Kami has put up, I can’t see them but I know her well enough to understand what she meant by them. This sounds like people having a kneejerk reaction, and trying to spread that to everyone they can. We do not, and will not, hide the fact that we take kratom, that it makes our lives better, and we are no longer tied to any drug for our well being. Because I’ve been trapped in that cycle. I’ve needed that drug to function, and until you’re out at three in the morning wondering just how you went from a pain patient to a drug addict, you cannot understand the physical and mental tole that takes on a person. This sounds like people who want to insist that what they take, subs and methadone, is better than the plant we take. Neither is superior to the other. Our plant is safer, scientifically proven safer, but both work just fine for their purposes, to cure opioid addiction and chronic pain, it’s just that we don’t have to jump through any hoops to get it. If you don’t like kratom, don’t take it. But if we don’t go around ragging on your drug of choice or whatever recovery method you choose, don’t do the same to us. Because I will find out, and I will make you pay if you do.

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    1. I can understand if reading this seems kinda crazy or outlandish because most people probably don’t know that this conflict even exists (between communities). Kind of goes back to holistic against western medicine for a lot of people. Denial comes into play and some people are extremely close minded and have a hard time with change and just set in their own ways. They figure that their way is the only way. But, even so I have had lots of people come to me and say they want to try Kratom and learn about it, after seeing someone argue with me about it. Lol. So, I suppose this is all worth it! 😊🍃

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    2. I appreciate your words and support more than you may know Kendell. Seriously you totally uplifted me just now. THANK YOU for sticking up for me. I just wish that maybe our community could be treated a little more with respect, the same as we give to them as you mentioned. So many people are hurting and don’t get the treatment they actually need but I have to remember that sometimes I can’t make people see the truth even when it’s staring them in the face. I’ve never been a pushy person either. I hate selling things so I’m not even remotely like that but so many people are brainwashed by the FDA, DEA, and media regarding Kratom that all I have to do is mention the word Kratom and say ‘if you’re interested in learning more about it feel free to message me’ and they freaking go off the rails.

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  2. That was not meant to say your article didn’t make sense, but that the people you’re up against don’t make a lot, or even any, sense. To have to fight for hours until you’re literally throwing your hands up and leaving groups over what should just be a brief “huh, so you take kratom” moment is just … I can’t comprehend it. But if it brings people to kratom, I guess it is worth it, though I still don’t like it. Personally, I don’t really have a problem with herbal or traditional medicine, at least not until doctors are actively denying people meds they are either dependent on, to function, or addicted to, and their only recourse is to either admit and go into drug rehab, and there’s a whole slew of stuff that goes along with it, or suffer. Because those are the only two options most people know about. Personally, I believe halistic medicine should coexist, peacefully, with traditional medicine, we don’t seek to claim our plants or herbs are better than the pills, we just want to be able to take them with no metalling involved. I’ve heard people come up to me and tell me that I shouldn’t take what I’m taking, for a variety of reasons, and I can defend myself, up to a point. But past that … I blow up. This doesn’t feel like a debate to me, it feels like a war, with all sorts of stress and casualties each and every day. But we’ll keep fighting, it’s what we do. But my god, some of the things these people say …

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  3. So do doctors routinely cut people off their pain meds, as in daily? I got cut off myself, and I’ve heard that a lot of docs are doing it, even when it’s blatantly obvious people need these things, but I’m not sure how often it actually happens. I know there has been a surge of gabapentin, pregabalin and duloxetine prescriptions by desperate doctors hoping something, anything but an opioid will work, but I’m not certain how often that happens either. If so, kratom is a godsend for a lot of people, but getting past the FDA and media bs is a fight all on it’s own. If you can get through, then you deal with not knowing what kind to take, how much of it to take, what form to get, powder or capsules, and how much to buy at one time. If you can get through all that, you’ll have a happy kratom user. If not, you’ll be trying to swim against the tide long term. This is why I’m so passionate about dosage being on the packaging, but even standardized dosage won’t be enough for everyone, which is often why taking opioids often causes increasing dosage, often well outside the established limits, and doctors don’t take that well. They should understand that jsut because the FDA says 2 is all you need, that doesn’t mean 2 is enough for everyone, but their attitude seems to be if you take more your’e eitehr an addict or noncompliant with their instructions, doctors have a bit of a god complex, and since we’re average citizens, we’re supposed to shut up and listen, don’t get me started, I’ll rant all day

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